#MaybellinethePuppy

Note from Melody: For those who remember that my tiny puppy Maybelline (“Maybe”) used to sometimes take over my Facebook feed, know that I have locked her out as best I can! However, there is definitely no stopping her from posting on my blog, because she is definitely a puppy that will not be silenced. So here she goes again…

Hello, my name is Maybelline, but you can call me Maybe. I have done it again, and everybody is flipping out for NO REASON.

No one seems to understand that it is my life’s mission to chew up anything that will fit into my mouth. Tonight, while the lady was taking things out of her art “she shed” doohickey so she could take them to “the studio” (wherever that is…), I noticed a lovely new toy that was clearly left inside there just for me.

It was SO beautiful – shiny, black, and it beckoned to me. Because it was made of plastic, I delighted in hearing it go crunch-crunch-crunch. I surreptitiously carried it inside so I could joyfully chomp it into smithereens.

But NO. The little guy narced me out to the lady! He hollered, “Maybe is chewing up a little black thing!” The lady came to the sofa, where I was enjoying every bite, took it away from me and… ugh. Folks, she SMOOTH FLIPPED OUT.

The lady was hollering, “It’s an ant trap! Maybe ate an ant trap!!! Gahhhhhh!”

Delicious! I LURRRRRB shiny plastic things! -Maybelline

And then suddenly everybody’s hair is on fire and they’re washing my tongue in the sink. They’re WASHING MY TONGUE IN THE SINK, Y’ALL. #Rudeness.

The lady completed chewed me out, but all I heard was, “Blah, blah, blah Maybe. Blah blah BLAH!”

I just wanted to know what she did with my new toy. I totally wasn’t done with it, yo.

Everybody eventually calmed down after the lady typed into “the Google” and found out I was going to be OK. She said I could have an upset stomach, but you know if that happens the only downside is she gets to clean that carpet again, and that’s on her. What do I care if that happens? I’d eat that plastic thing again if they’d give it back!

She has NO idea the magnitude of the things I’m plotting… Bwa-ha-ha-haaaa! -Maybelline

OK, I’m going to bed now. Nobody is flipping out anymor, so I guess I can relax now. I’m trying to decide what’s next on the “toy” list – her favorite shoe, his flip-flop, or maybe the little guy’s Chaco. He did narc me out, after all.

Live in fear, little guy. I am still basically Voldemort in canine form. Bwa-ha-ha-haaaaaaa….

Love always and hugs and kisses,

Maybe Baby